I don't want to remain bitter. I was praying since last night and asking God about His plan for me. Why am I here? I don't know exactly where to go. I'm in pain. Terribly in it. Confused. With a sigh, I told Him "I really don't know. Just have Your way please".
My first boyfriend and I broke up exactly 2 weeks ago. I love that guy. But I need to let him go. It was 3 years of on and off relationship already and we just realized we need to grow up separately. We are on different pages already. Now I want God to turn the page for me. I cannot carry the weight of that page but for sure, God has something really great in mind. Something that I might not be able to contain so I am bracing myself before He bursts it all out.
My pain won't change His being God. But the reality remains, I'm in pain. I told Him I want to praise and worship Him while in pain because no matter how painful it is, He is still God. I said sorry, because I know for myself, that because my heart is not at its perfect shape, it is not 100% working for Him. I just repeatedly ask Him: "fix it.. fix it.. fix it.."
I cannot say that I am happy. It's hard to say so when you know that something has broken your heart. 2 weeks. Nonetheless, I am aware that I won't be like this forever.I have to undergo the process.
When I was praying this morning, I cried to God to push me to the right way. The fork in the road is just confusing. Which is leading to Him? Which is the road to happiness? Then He told me, "just be content then you will be happy. There are so many problems in the world that are far depressing than yours.."
I believe that all things work for the good of those who love and obey the Lord. God will restore me for sure. Though I am confused today with my life, I will never be confused about God's power to take control of it. He is my faithful God. He will keep His promise to be with me now and forever. I am confident that God will rescue me and uphold me with His righteous right hand. I will soar with Him and kiss the storm goodbye. As long as I have the air to breathe in, I know, God's giving me hope.
No matter what happens, He is God.. He is God.. I praise Him.
[stumbled upon this article: http://www.turnbacktogod.com/praising-god/ .. just taking notes]
