Modern Lamentation

Painful Night

Part 1

Tonight is a painful night

I watched another prince movie,

Being entertained once again

And strangely hurt by the happy ending for the nth time

As they lived happily ever after

My dream of the same ending is killed at the same time

I realize it won't happen to me

And it hurts

Maybe I desire it that is why it hurts

Well maybe it will happen I just don't know when

I just wanted to destress from the toxic adult problems

I was convincing my younger brother that  

he is never a disappointment when deep inside me, I am the one who is

But I pray to the Lord and ask forgiveness over and over

And I don't repeat the prayer because of doubt but because my heart really yearns for Him

I know and believe that He will make things turn around

He will provide

I am His child

I lack nothing

And so I thank You Lord

For everything that You have done

And for being an awesome God

No matter the circumstance

I will praise and worship You

Jesus, my Lord and Savior

Part 2

I can't keep the tears from welling up

My nose is not serving its purpose

I thank God for giving me mouth in this case

This migraine is killing me

But I will fight for my life until I see a happy soul

There seems no-one around me who is not hurting

Everyone needs healing including me

That is why we need a Savior and Healer

Jesus is the answer

I pray that everyone will put that in their banner

And stop being a bummer

Part 3

I'm drinking my tears and I'm getting drowned

But still I know there will be sunshine tomorrow

My heart is overwhelmed with pain

but I know God is my healer

God knew pain more than I do

Hence He knows how and when it stops

I just trust the sovereign Creator

who died on the cross for me

such pain while being hung on the tree

is far worse than what I feel today

I am grateful for Him who saved me

because I know at the end of it all

He promised that there will be no more tears,

no more pain, and no more sadness.

***

All my bags are packed I'm ready to go...

 Uy kinanta nya!
Eto sabay tayo tara :)

long distance relationship

is very challenging..

But with God in between

and above, you can overcome it..

wait patiently, until you are back to each others'

arms again :)

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You know me

I remember God has given me a signal that i should make a melody for this psalm verses, which i have glanced (unknowingly) at the door in our little HQ in Guinobatan. Later, i will post the picture of that wall decor made by sis ems. Here's the song....only for God.

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Lord You know me
Psalm 139

composed by lanilane ocbina


I

Oh Lord You've searched me and Known me
YOu know my sitting down
YOu know my rising up
YOu understand
My thought afar off


chorus:

YOu comprehend my path and lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways
for there is not a word in my tongue
but behold oh Lord You know it altogehter

II

You have hedged me behind and before
and lead Your hand upon me
such knowledge is too wonderful for me
it's high and i can't attain it

MAKE YOU SMILE

Last night i don't know why I was feeling that certain weight inside me. I felt alone and sad. I believe that feeling was not coming from God. I am certain that i felt it because i was not with God (i was preoccupied with work). It might be caused by stress or satan was just trying to annoy me. I felt sorry for myself but then by God's grace, i was healed right then. I prayed and sang and praise Him. I was even inspired to make another song for Him. Glory to God. I woke up this morning receiving a brand new gift from Him, a gift to live a life that is full of reasons to rejoice!

Bless His name forever!

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MAKE YOU SMILE AGAIN
(The recording is not that good, first time to record using this new laptop wheew)
composed: lanilane Ocbina

I
Sometimes I ask why You searched for me
Often I wonder why You cared to know me
I am just no one, can't give anything
But You said, I'm Your child
It's amazing
Coz You've changed everything


Refrain
How can I give back all the love You've given
How can I, how can I bless Your name
How can I, How can i know where You are
Please Lord, teach me how to make You smile again

II
Sometimes I want to sleep and seek Your face
Often I stop and desire to hear Your voice
But I'm alone, Can't hear anything
But You have revealed Yourself
in many lives
and that changed everything

Refrain...